Trending: Extreme makeover: undies edition
So... what are you wearing right now?
Yes - I'll admit that may have sounded like the start to a fiery hot sexting conversation, but you can rest easy, I'm asking what you've got on for a good reason. And for the both of our sakes I'm hoping your answer includes underwear.
Yes? Good. But that's about as far as it goes with us guys giving any more thought to what a good pair of underwear can bring to the table. I'm not just talking comfort for the old boys either, a pair of cotton briefs have the potential to offer much more and give you some appreciation from the babes too. I mean just look at the Biebs, he's got some saucy woman all over him. Wouldn't you like that to happen for the price of a pair of good underwear?
Underwear is extremely understated because for much of the time it's hidden away from the world's view. Yet it should still warrant some form of effort because what you wear says quite a bit about who you are, it's a statement, and your underwear isn't excluded from this. Infact, it's potentially even more influential than we may even realise.
The truth is crusty undies have the power to turn things from good to bad in a matter of seconds. Let me see if I can make a workable comparison to how cruddy undies can turn a situation with so much promise into instant disappointment by relating to the fun game of pass-the-parcel...
Imagine you’ve got the parcel, you're excitedly unwrapping a layer - you're heart is beating, this could be it - the big prize - then like a slap in the face you realise you've unwrapped a dud and got nothing but bitter disappointment. You didn't win the big prize. That's essentially what it's like for a woman when she meets a guy who underneath it all is sporting some appalling undies. You've set yourself up for failure. There is good news though. You can easily avoid this mistake, but first we need to clear something up.
If your girlfriend or dare I say it mumsie is currently left with the responsibility of supplying you with cotton briefs, I'm outraged and shocked. It's passable if they get you a pair here and there for your birthday, but it's not their responsibility to clothe ya balls. It's yours. Seriously think about this one gents. You appreciate it when a woman puts in the effort and cares about how she puts herself together (including what she's wearing underneath) so why shouldn’t you be extending the same courtesy?
While you might be killing it with your outerwear - with your long tail tee and yeezes - don’t let your underwear game bring your score down. The days of the silk boxer shorts should only be present in your teenage memories. And if right this second you’re wearing a pair of these, burn them. No jokes. BURN 'EM.
No doubt by this stage you’ve likely had a quick squizz at the undies you're wearing and concluded it's time for a change, Let me help with an extreme makeover, undies edition. Here's my top 5 men’s underwear options that'll fit within any budget and get you ready for those times when you may be lucky enough to be getting them off... 😂
ONE. CALVIN KLEIN
CK have always been a staple in my underwear draw. They're plain, simple and best yet comfortable. Underwear should be fairly neutral and basic and these do the trick. Make sure you're getting either trunk or boxer cut as these two styles offer the best look and comfort levels.
You can grab a three-pack of cotton briefs from The Iconic, for $99 and they ship the next day so you'll be wearing fresh new underwear before you know it! Otherwise hit up my usual Superette who also stock quite a variety of these cotton briefs.
TWO. RALPH LAUREN
I've got a few pair of these Ralph Lauren cotton briefs because they're crisp and fresh. There's a bit of a thing against white underwear (for reasons I can completely understand) but I wouldn't be afraid to sport white, it can give you a clean look. But there's quite a few colourway options if you'd rather play it safe with grey and black. These briefs have got some added cuffing around the leg to help ensure they don't ride up which is a smart move.
THREE. HEIDI KLUM
I've got a stack of HK trunks and they're my daily go to. What I quite like about these trunks are the button detailing at the front. Sure they're kinda superfluous as no one actually uses them, but I like how the buttons look and add to the style. Just to sweeten things up, they've got a deal at the moment, buy any 2 and get 30% off, just use the promo code: LOVE30. Normally $30 a pair.
FOUR. TOMMY HILFIGER
Finding branded clothing, yet along underwear can be a challenge locally. We're limited to what retailers stock and then often there's importing restrictions on what can be brought in through official channels to help protect a brand's value. Well there's a workaround, that I'm happy to share with you.
Here are some awesome three-pack of Tommy Hilfiger briefs for under $30 USD and they don't ship here to New Zealand. Using this brilliant shipping forwarding service called YouShop from NZ Post, you can enter in an American addresses which features a unique identifier code and they'll repackage and deliver to NZ for a fee (depending on size, volume and weight). So you can imagine for a few pair of new briefs you wouldn't be paying much, so you may as well do a fairly decent order.
Superdry doesn't have a massive presence here in New Zealand, but it's big across the ditch and in the UK and I think you'll start to see it more over the next year or two. I got given a box set of these awesome Superdry briefs from my brother and his wife for Christmas and they're some of the most comfortable underwear I've had the pleasure of wearing. They're made of a nice and thick stretch cotton so they feel durable and flexible which is what you need in a good pair of underwear, especially when you're being active.
So now you know the deal with what your underwear can do for you, there's no excuses to upgrade asap.
Better undies, better you.
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